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The Official Website of
The Southern Pines Invitational
and The Turtle.
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WOODSWEPT! |
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MICHAEL WOOD FINALLY CATCHES THE
TURTLE AGAIN
WHILE SON ABE GRABS THE
TEMPLETON CUP.
Sunday, April 24, 2018.
2:47 PM EDT.
By
Chuck Dumbass, Publisher.
SOUTHERN PINES, North Carolina (DOD) –
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A
revitalized Michael “The
Chairman” Wood breezed to victory today in the 28th
edition of the Southern Pines Invitational, winning by a
whopping eight points. In so doing, Wood won his sixth Turtle
trophy, the most in history. The twelve years since his
last victory also breaks the record for the longest drought
between wins. Firing a stellar final round of
plus five on the final Day also got him a share of first in the
daily pool. Wood had wrested the lead from son, Abe "The
Ghost" Wood, on Day Three and never looked back. Though
The Ghost could not hold on to the Turtle, he did manage to edge
Norm "The Total Package Templeton" for the Templeton Cup.
When it was over, the Woods had the only scores in positive
territory, laying waste to the rest of the field, who found
themselves truly "Woodswept." It was a dominating team
performance that. . . .
[Read more in the
2018 Dimpled Orb Digest.] |
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Making the Golf Trip Great Again!™
We enter our 28th year
with four new players and the return of two cagey veterans. The
unprecedented addition of new blood can only revitalize an event that
one short year ago appeared moribund.
Luis “The Cuban
Missile” Bustamante lends a Latin flair with his exciting
Doug
Sandersesque swing. He’ll be joined by son and playing partner
Travis
“The Natural" Bustamante, who continues the influx of younger
talent. The Bustamantes become the fourth father/son duo to compete.
Another first time player is young
Ryan “Atlas”
McNally, who will try to circumnavigate his way around the Southern Pines
track in search of the Turtle. An unknown quantity, he’ll team with
Jeff “Sir Title
Lock” McCall. Having last played in 1999, Sir Title Lock’s
interregnum is the longest in tournament history. We dusted off the
archives to find his initial point quota of 13 based on
his last
competitive round—just under the 20-year statute of limitations.
Rounding out the first-time players is
Mike “Hoppa”
Penland. Hoppa is an experienced competitor who could get hot enough
to compete for the Templeton Cup. He’ll team with
Dennis “Wilford
Brimley” McClane, who’s returning after a three-year layoff. His
initial quota and senior tee positions make him excellently positioned for a run at his first
Turtle.
The Templeton Cup competition looks wide open with the absence of
defending Champ
Greg “Stone
Cold” Goddard. He and tour regular
Richard “The
Envy” Matlock are missing the trip this year to attend weddings,
thus violating Rule 3 of “The “Nine Worst Excuses for Missing the Golf
Trip.™”
Good Luck as we Make the Golf Trip Great Again!™
--C. D.--
4/10/2018
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¹Special
thanks to Joe Hudson at
HuskerMax for the Countdown
Clock.
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Copyright 2019 Dimpled Orb
Productions.
All rights reserved.
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This page was last
updated
04/18/19.
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