2014 Links
Player Archive
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The roster is a familiar one for this year’s
Turtle hunt.
The judgment of history awaits
Mark “Q-Ball” Kimmet’s attempt to claim a previously unthinkable
third consecutive Turtle. He’ll have to overcome the lowest First Day
Projected Plus
or Minus (PPM) in recent memory to do it, but will be considered
one of the all-time greats if successful. Q-Ball will once again team
with Randy “Cool Breeze” Gibson,
who, by contrast, enters the field with this year’s highest First Day
PPM. This pairing could get interesting if Cool Breeze looms as an
impediment to Q-Ball’s potential rendezvous with destiny.
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Conspicuous by his absence will be
Danny “Depot Stove” Pressley, who will not participate for reasons
unknown. Rumors persist that the absence is related to a dalliance with
an unnamed Hollywood starlet, and the resulting marital fallout. Those
rumors of “a Tiger Woods-type situation” remain unconfirmed, however, as
we go online. Andy “Leaf” Neely
will stand in for the Stove as Dennis
“Wilford Brimley” McClane’s partner. Neely was the model of
consistency in his only other Invitational appearance, and is known to
possess breakout talent. Brimley overcame his Day 4 aversion to Mid Pines
last year, and hopes to parlay that into a Turtle win this year.
With the Stove out, Greg “Stone
Cold” Goddard comes in as one of the favorites for the Templeton Cup.
As a former Turtle Slam winner, he will challenge for the Turtle as well.
Goddard’s partner, Toby “Hoss
Cartwright” Hyke, hopes to better his disappointing performance last
year, perhaps having played a few practice rounds since November.
Mike “Formerly Big Boy, Jr.” King
challenged for the Turtle last year, only to falter badly in the final
round. King hopes his new “Grizzly Adams” approach will help him hunt
down the Turtle this time. King’s compatriot,
Richard “The Envy” Matlock, seeks
to overcome relatively modest recent performances to regain his former
Turtle prominence.
Another Templeton Cup contender is
Tracy “Tiger” Thompson, who
comes in with high hopes after a pedestrian final round last year. With
his Day One quota slightly down, Thompson could be poised to challenge for
the Turtle Slam. Jon “Hairball”
Lawler will be Tiger’s partner again this year. Lawler seeks to
replicate his dominating performance in last year’s third round to contend
for the Turtle this time.
Greg “The Loguemeister” Logue
hopes to reverse his penchant for playing well on his home course only to
fade at the Invitational. With another year like the last, Logue may be
on the verge of becoming the nonplaying Tournament Director.
Michael “The Hoser” Moser hopes to
atone for his disastrous collapse last year that saw him record his lowest
career point total. Having fully healed from shoulder surgery, The Hoser,
now sometimes known as “Trigger,” may be poised to claim his first
Turtle.
Norm “The Total Package”
Templeton is still seeking his first win of either the Turtle or the
Templeton Cup. With the Stove out, it looks like the race for the Cup
will be a three-man affair among The Package, Thompson, and Goddard.
Norm’s partner, Dan “The Man” Moore,
tends to play well early only to fade at the last. Moore hopes to
overcome final day doldrums to challenge for the Turtle.
Michael “The Chairman” Wood
burns to end a personal drought of Turtle victories dating to 2006. With
five outright or shared Golf Trip championships under his belt, The
Chairman is always a threat. Wood’s partner, young
Nathan “The Assassin” Nash, heads
into his fourth Invitational still seeking a
Relative Value
Factor score. Nash hopes to settle his sometimes unruly youthful
exuberance to finally claim a Calcutta share.
Click on a player below to view his career record through 2013.
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© 2014 Dimpled Orb Productions. All rights reserved.
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This page was last updated
04/25/19.
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